Friday, June 29, 2007

Answering Kinzi's tag Re Marriage

I finally got around to answering Kinzi’s tag, I am sorry it is too long, but you know me, I love to talk talk talk.

I have been married for almost 9 years. Our 9th year anniversary is on July 18th, our first anniversary being apart. Wow I do not believe it has been this long, it definitely does not feel like it!

When we met, neither of us was really thinking of getting married. I was at a point where I have boycotted marriage due to few bad relationships! Hubby was being badgered by his family to get married. He was 32 and to them he was an old maid. He looked for someone in Germany, and then he went to Saudi Arabia, then to Jordan. Finally his sister suggested he comes to Canada to visit his uncle. He might like and marry his very cute cousin. Hubby decided what the heck, I’ve never been to Canada.

He came to Canada, his cousin was not his type, neither was he hers. So he was introduced to few girls but none were his type. Finally a week before his return to Germany, his uncle and his aunt decided to take him to a goodbye dinner in Hamilton, which is where I lived. The owner of a restaurant is a mutual friend of my family and his uncle’s family. We just happened to be dining there that night. The minute Rami saw me, he would his eyes of me, I gotta admit, I did look good that night!:)

His uncle asked the restaurant owner to introduce the families and before we knew it they invited themselves for coffee at our house. The next day they invited us for dinner and after a lot of convincing from our friend I accepted the invitation. That is when hubby and I got to sit alone and chitchat. We talked for over 3 hrs and decided we will go out the next day. He so friendly, easy going and great to talk to, not to mention so cute and adorable!

We immediately clicked. We went out almost everyday. My work at that time was close to where his uncle lived, so we would go out for lunch or for coffee after work. A month later we were engaged and ten glorious months later we were married. The reason I gave hubby a chance is the first place was because I loved his name (I was always saying when I have a son I will name him Rami), he was a cutie, and I fell in love with his aunt. After that I could not help falling in love with him, he is just so darned cute and so nice and has the qualities I always wanted in a husband but was sure that they did not exist. When I got sick one day, he came to our house right away and spent the whole day with me, and he read me a book. I will never forget that day. His voice was so soft and comforting. The book he read was the story of Remi allakeet in Arabic, which was my favourite cartoon and book.

Hubby never made it back to Germany. I would not accept a long distance engagement. I wanted to be together and get to know each other, so there were no surprises after the wedding.

My husband is my best friend. He is the one person I can talk to about everything and anything. We do have ups and downs, but thankfully our ups are a lot more that our downs. We do argue and drive each other crazy at times, but at the end of the day we lay in each other’s arms and all is forgotten and forgiven.

Communication is very important. By nature I am not a very talkative person. But with my husband I can talk up a storm. This is what I loved about him, he made it very easy for me to open up to him, and talk. You need to put on listening ears and hear what your partner is saying.

In marriage you have to learn to compromise, you cannot always get your own way. You give a little and take a little. You come up with a solution that will make you both happy. That was the hard part for me, but eventually I learned how to compromise.

It is very important to spend time alone every once in a while. We have not been able to do it much here since we do not have a baby sitter here in Saskatoon. But when back at home in TO, my mom watched the kids every few weeks and we got to be alone and do couple things. A date night or weekend is very important and renews the relationship.

O kinzi requested I elaborate on the amount of traveling we do with kids. Both hubby and I share the love for travel. The reason we waited for awhile to have kids is because we wanted to travel and have fun together. We used to take 2 long holidays per year, in Canada that means 1-3 wks off. We would travel to the Caribbean or to the US. It took us a while before we could travel outside N/A since my husband did not have Canadian citizenship yet. Through out the year we took several road trips throughout Ontario and Quebec on long weekends.

We thought that when we had kids all this traveling would stop. But our kids are great! They travel great on the plane, and they do well on long road trips. Right now our travels are mostly from Saskatoon to Toronto and from Toronto to Amman, with long road trips within SK and Alberta here and there. Zozo and I are dying to go to Cuba, but we’ll have to wait after we come back from Amman. We want the kids to know their family in Toronto and Amman, so our destinations have somewhat changed. I do like travelling with my kids; my mom always offers to watch the kids for a week or so while we go away. I know I should, but our kids are so young and willing to join us for so little time. Once they hit their teens, god help us! We hope that by taking them with us all the time and doing thing we all enjoy, they will still enjoy traveling with us, as they get older. I have friends whose kids will not travel with them at all! I pray we will never get to that point. We do enjoy family vacations together. On long car trips hubby and I get to talk all we want without many distractions, this is another reason we love road trips.

So there you go, marriage is great. Having someone there to comfort you when you wake up from a bad dream. Someone who will listen to you whine about your weight loss or lack of and in hubby’s case someone who will listen to you bitching about work and annoying coworkers. You always have a date to any party, wedding, and get togethers. You have someone kill the spiders and icky bugs for you, go out and get you a Tim Hortons cup of coffee in the morning, someone to come and get your car out of the snow when you are stuck in a million inches of slippery snow, someone that will clean up the house and watch the kids when you are sick, and make you soup that does may or may not taste awful, but it is the thought that counts, someone to cheer you up when feeling sad.


Summer said...

Sam,very nice post about marriage. thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdome about it!

Qwaider قويدر said...

"I would not accept a long distance ........"
And there you have it boys and girls, she was barely engaged when the demands started.... :)

Allah y3eeno la 3ammo Rami :)

God married people make me hate this thing more and more everyday!! LOL!
But what can I do... my 7ajjeh wants me to "Ansiter" :'(

hamede said...

Good post thank you for sharing.

kinzi said...

Sam, Sam, Sam...this was SO worth waiting for. What a great story: click, cute, communicate, compromise. I am sure, if we heard Rami's side, it would be quite sounds a bit like Hamede's story, too! Thank you so much for your cool angle, and how you kept the wanderlust alive even with kids (minnik 3atallem!)

(Hey, I found out from MommaBean those particular diapers (feel and learn?) ARE available in Jordan. Whew. :)

Hamza said...

A very lovely post. You have to be very proud of yourself to be the one chosen after a long search around the globe from Germany to Saudi Arabia to Jordan.

You are either lucky or he felt desperate :P

Oriental Arabesque said...

I swear I had tears in my eyes while reading your post! (yeah kteer sensetive ana :p)

I got so touched. :-)

I was having a lot of negative feelings towards men & the marriage subject lately, I felt I totally lost interest in the whole thing and it’s simply not worth it, but after reading your words I though oh well, if I can find someone who’ll make me feel this way then of course it’ll be worth it

btw, and on a seperate note:
i read all ur blog's posts and i mean ALL, i really loved ur style and spirit, 7asetek kteer 2areebeh 3al 2alb :)

redrose said...

Lovely lovely post..and happy 9th aniversarry in advance.
lols everything went gr8 and in one month..Iliked this...lols You gave him a chance coz you liked his name (just happened the same with me few days ago..and I told him nice name if I had son I would name him like yours.. MEELAD's a nice name..isn't it? sometimes you don't know how someone pops up and draw your attention to think in a possitive way lols!

Who's-sane! said...

that's a wonderful post sam! very touching too ... all those keywords are critical in a relationship. communication, compromise, spending time ...

thanks for that sam, I'm still trying to compile a list as well :-)

Sam said...

summer thanks :)

kinzi that u , u r too sweet!:) and yeh thank u...that is good to know about training pants..because it seems like we will be needing them for quit some time...unless a miracle hits:) Please please please!

OA yeh men suck sometimes..bas there is a flip side to each make up for their annoyance they do have some good things...i was the same when i met way was i going to get married because men were blah! but hubby changed my mind.. sometimes i still want to throw every single dish in the kitchen at him but he is ok:)

red rose..yeh meelad noor is a cute name!!:) yup it is weird how things work sometimes:) if hubby was name hmmm say rabee3..i would not have said yes to anything..*lol*

who-sane thank u for commenting..cant wait to read your post about marriage!! i guess it will be a while eh? remember how long it took to answer my tag..and it was the easiest tag ever!:)