a farewell??

I guess wont not be staying in Amman for too long now!

I got a call from Ziad’s school today, I have to go meet with them on Sunday, and I think this is it! They will tell me that they can not handle him anymore.
His reaction to this change has been horrible...he loves Amman. He has a lot more freedom here; he is the center of attention wherever he goes. But at school he did not do well at all. He did not even allow himself to try! He is a very bright and smart kid and has an awesome memory. By 2.5yo he could name every car on the street, but would not bother with his Arabic ABC’s.

He has been behaving so badly at school. He will not listen to his teachers, he even hits kids! Ziad has never ever hit anyone before. Even his little brother whom he is very jealous of, he has never hit, pinched or pushed him. We were actually very worried about him being hit in Amman!

So if Ziad is not in school here any longer we will be going back home. He does not deal well with change at all. When I first went to Canada I had some issues and had a bad couple of years, but my way of dealing with things is to make myself invisible, so no one notices me, but with Ziad it is the opposite, he wants all the attention on him by acting out, so no one would think he is upset about not knowing how to read and write. In Canada they are still learning to read cat, bat, bear...but here he is expected to do a spelling test with purple, white, and black. He is just learning his Arabic alphabet while the kids know how to write madrasiti , bostani and 7asoob in Arabic.

I should not have listened to hubby; we should have put him in an international school. Things may have been different. The thing is though, we chose this school because they have a special class for kids coming from abroad, but later we found out that they do not start until grade 2! He would not have felt out of place in a class like that. Of course on top of all these changes we have to add to the mix the fact that his daddy is not here! He is very attached to his dad. One of the people at school stupidly said o this should not have a big affect on the child and is not a reason for him to act out, there are lots of kids whose dads live elsewhere. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, what school did she graduate from??

I don’t know; I am just so sad for Ziad. First we moved him from Toronto, where he was starting to make friends to the middle on nowhere, aka Saskatoon. We did not have friends, family and it was too cold and snowy that we could not go out much. Then we brought him here to Amman, where he was like elatrash belzafeh. He loves his dad’s family here, but it is a big change. He is an angel at home, but the devil at school. Hubby is talking about getting a job in the gulf. An Arabic country...seriously sometimes I feel Canada is more of an Arabic country than Arabic countries. I mean really, is Dubai an Arabic city?? It is hard to tell.

But now I will not move anywhere else. We have not felt any stability in the past 2 years. In Saskatoon we were there temporarily. I could not buy anything for our house and know that I will be enjoying it for years to come, and it is the same here in Amman. I want to move back to my house. I want to plant a tree and watch it grow and maybe one day my kid will build a tree house on it or at least a swing. I do not want to be living temporary here and there.

Canada is our home! Nowhere else will be home for us...not Jordan (we do not have anything Jordanian, not even an iqama...Just Jordanian family members), not Lebanon, not Syria, not Palestine unless a miracle happens or any gulf country. At the end all these places are not our home; we do not belong in any of them. It does not matter how long you live in UAE or other countries eventually you will retire and have to leave the country. This sad reality hit hubby’s family when they left Kuwait and now his aunt will be coming back to Jordan because her husband’s work gave him the, thank you we do not need you anymore.

Hubby worried about being old and alone in Canada...but hmmmmmmm if you are living in Canada, you have friends and family. You grow old with your friends, so how is that different than living anywhere else?? You may be alone if you move to Canada in your 50’s, but you know what?? I see my friend’s parents who moved to Canada in their 50’s and they are not alone! There are always people visiting and there are always get togethers. You social life is what you make of it! No matter where you are. Hubby had an older friend when he lived in Germany and this is what caused him to go into this frame of mind, but really there is a big different between the city he lived in Germany and between a place like the greater Toronto area where there is a huge Arab population. So I can guarantee we will not have his friend’s fate inshallah!

I will miss Amman, yesterday I was looking around and thinking how much I love it here, but I love Canada equally but in Canada I can drive, and I do not feel like crying every time I cross the street. So I guess either way we are ok. I am looking for a preschool for Bilal in Milton as we speak. We will come to Amman every summer.