Monday, October 1, 2007

sho badik?

Isn’t it enough that I see them on the streets wherever I go...They are taking away my precious change that I need for taxis. Now they are bothering me at home!! Nothing be3abi 3eenhom! You think I will give them 1JD and they will 7elon 3ani! Nope! Bel3aks they betma3oo feeni aktar! From now on I will not give any beggar more than 5 or 10 kroosh! No more Ms generous! I have had enough of them!!

Today I was sitting peacefully sipping on a cup of coffee! Ok yeh I am not fasting because I did not sleep all night due to my baby being sick. At 9am my head was pounding like crazy so I decided I will break my fast and give someone poor 1JD. Someone knocked on the door. I opened the door thinking it is my mother in law or my sister in law’s maid. Oops it was a woman holding a paper saying that someone in her family is in the hospital and needing surgery or whatever! So I gave her 1JD. She made me feel bad about how bad his case is...ok I did not believe her but I did want to give a maskeen money because of my broken fast. Then she asked me if I have any clothes I do not need. I did actually have some clothes my kids have outgrown so I collected them and gave her a bag full of clothes. She talked and blah blah blah...I ended up giving her another dinar. So that is 3JD in less than five minutes plus a bag full of clothes from old navy, Gymboree and children’s place. These clothes are worth at least $150 all almost new bought from Canada few months ago. But nooo it is not enough...She wanted to read my palm and take the 7elwan. Three other women came tell you the truth I got scared at the point... She asked me to get a thread... to break a si7r or whatever...she did say some accurate things when she read my palm so I was shocked about that...but then again “kathab elmonajemoon walaw sadako”..I went in closed the door and called the 7ares to come kick them out. I am never opening the door for these people... Allah gave us plenty Alhamdulillah and I would love to give to the needy...but someone who is really in need does not do this...ya3ni 3an jad uuf!

This is my third post venting about this...I really did not expect it to be this bad here. So tell me when someone stops you on the street or comes to your home, how much do you give them??

I am not used to giving less than $1...because in Canada $1 does not buy much. But here 1JD can buy few things. I mean I feel silly giving someone 25 kirsch...But then again a taxi driver gets about that much for a good it should be more than enough for beggars eh?


Asoom said...

Sam, for your own safety and security, if someone comes to your own house and on your front door DON'T GIVE THEM ANYTHING, I udnerstand your need and want to help the poor, there's established and organized charities or actually give to the people on the street. I've heard of stories from my cousins where 'beggars' that came to people's houses were later responsible for breakins/robberies in that same house. You just don't know who has what kind of intentions and if someone has bad intentions well now they know that you have money and possessions in your house and that you seem to be well off.

As for people on the street, I don't know what the norm is but my general rule is that I didn't use to give men unless they appeared to have a clear handicap, I used to give to the women and the children like 10qroosh or half JD but no more than that.

Anonymous said...

That is scary, never open the door before knowing who's on the other side.. I don't like to be suspicious of people but we hear all kind of horror stories that are happening and you have to be very careful.. Shouldn't the 7ares be aware of these people and stop them before going up??
May be it's better if you give your money to organizations that you trust for the poor or orphans,this way you know that the money will help somebody for sure..
On a side note how much 1JD is equal to in u.s.dollar??just out of curiosity??

Radi Radi said...

I think you got the fasting thing all wrong, you can break your fast if you are physically unfit to fast, not if you need a caffeine fix, or you didn't sleep. I am sure you know that, and you also are the best judge of this, but you need to fast this day again after Ramadan, not just pay 1JD to some poor person.

You should also realize that it should be measured on your meals. If on average your meals cost 3 JDs then you should give poor people equivalent food or it's value. It is this way, because poor people will feel less disenfranchised. They will feel they eat as much and as well food as you do.

Also make sure you give to charities, is you read Al-Rai a week ago they had a picture of what can only be described as a mansion, and it reported that it was built by a man who forced his wife and kids to go begging.

If you live in a mansion then I can understand you giving to people who are less fortunate, but if you don't then trust me you aren't doing any khair

Anonymous said...

I say if someone wants to give money to those less fortunate, then give to a recognised charity e.g. Tkiyet um ali, an orphanage etc... not to professional beggars, who are obviously able to spend their whole day going from house to house and so should be fit enough to get a job.

Omar said...

I feel bad when I see beggars in Syria (although I have no sympathy for beggars in Canada).. But there are always families that don't beg and yet they're in need, all you need to do is go to a refugee camp to find them.

As others have said already, I would be careful. The people knocking your door are called nawar, the worst form of beggars. And the reason you have people knocking on your door is because nawar give each other tips on who pays and who doesn't.. Who knows they probably have a commission system set up too..

Deemco said...

Sam be careful! When you said that a bunch of women came out I freaked out because I've heard stories of how a woman knocks on a door and when the lady opens a bunch of other people come out and they attack the lady or kill her and rob the house, so please be VERY careful. About the begger issue, just say "Allah ya3teeki" and ignore them (if u want to get rid of them or if they complain about the amount u give them, although they shouldn't)
And I second what "radi radi" said. It's not a legitimate reason to break fast just because u didn't get enough sleep or needed caffiene. I hate to tell you, bas as a muslim, it's my duty to tell you what's right and what's wrong. (al 2amir bil ma3roof wal nahi 3an il monkar)

Maher said...

i personally dont give these people anything! i just dont believe them! i have heard many stories about them being wealthy at nights!

so just keep ignoring them ..

i was wondering if you could right a post about what you like here in Amman so far :P

Anonymous said...

Hehe. You cracked me up when you said that your learned your lesson and that you weren't giving out any more than 5 or 10 cents from now on! You did not learn your lesson- you're missing the whole point, if you are feeling generous, then finding people who could really use the help is not too hard in Amman. As for beggars, let them be! Don't respond to them or even look at them if it will make it easier for you. They are really good at sensing your hesitation!
I do not lack compassion but odds are the people that could really use the money do not ask for it- and beggars on the other hand, will be beggars.
And for heaven's sakes, if you're home alone, NEVER open the door for anyone you don't know! It's what you teach your kids isn't it ?!

Hamza said...

oh don't know what you have gotten yourself into. Now your house will be on the radar for the network of beggers. I am sure they have an underground organisation. Why underground? they might have a facebook group or network. Expect to see them more.

A begger have approached our house lately. She was palestinian and she was asking for "help"..I gave her money. One day later, she came asking for more, and when I denied her, she said: "mosh inta illi bta3tee, Allah illi bya3tee"...inno what the? I just gave you the other day. You don't have to exploit me

Oriental Arabesque said...

I don’t believe those beggars who come to annoy you and ylaz2o feeki either on the streets or at home!

We know some families who are really in need and they don’t yesh7ado, these are the people we give, we also give our Arabic, Muslim natoor either in Ramadan or other occasions and also send clothes to hilal a7mar in Abu Dhabi and sometimes we ship to Syria as my teta knows many families there who are really needy but they have 3ezt nafs and don’t ask.....
point is, it’s better ma ta3ti those people wej..sometimes I totally ignore them in the street or I tell them Allah ya3teek/ya3teeki, or when a young woman knocks my door I tell her shu ra2yek daberlek shu’3oul a7san ma tdoori 3al byoot..this makes her run away immediately :D
They are nothing but liars

Sam said...

asoom...i know but it is hard to find those people who need help..:(

noura...yeh it was scary...only my mother in law or the maid knock on my i looked quickly and thought it was the maid..since she wears the same hijjab as her...1jd is equal to about $1.4 i think...

radi islam is yosr and not 3osr..and when your head hurts and u can not function..then it is best not to fast..especially if you have a little sick person u have to take care of..and i do realize i have to make it up...but since i was feeling extra bad about not fasting i thought giving to the poor would make me feel better in the present..u never know what happens in the future..

omar im starting not to feel bad for beggars at all..they are too much!! zaha'ooni!

deemco yeh i got scared..i'll be looking more carefully through the peep hole next time...

annon i have a hard time being asked and not giving anything...i do send money to organizations that send money to palestine and iraq every few months..but i mean when i just cant say no..why give them 1jd..5 cents will do...or hmmmmmm those 1 kirsh that i hate so much i'll just give it to them..:)

maher didnt u seem what i love about jordan post??i do like it here...the only things i hate are crossing the streets, beggars and the no car thing...o and of course that my hubby and my family are not with me...but other than that im liking it here alot!!

hamza yeh nothing be3abee going to be super cheap fron now going to keep on practicing saying allah ya3teeki...

mais..i know they are liars..but there is the small maybe factor..u never know...allah yehdehom...wya3tee elmo7tajeen..

Jundi said...

albik abyad!

Bos6ar Gadeem said...

This is one of the worst habits (or maybe phenomena) that you see in Jordan .. .. anybody would help someone in need .. but you never know what these people are doing really .. some of them make good business out of it ..

I would advice you not to be miss generous :-) .. specially that beggars knock on the door now

Ahmad said...

Yu should not give your clothes to strangers.They might use clothes to do si7r for you and your family.
Once my big sister gave a beggar arounf 25JD then she told us she was not aware about that money and how she gave her money .
Some of them have power to make un-concious and could take evrything with simle on your face.